The Scariest Realities of Breaking Up

So love, love so deeply that it hurts, but when you’re in too deep and you feel like you’re drowning its important to know when you have to come up for air and release yourself from the stress that has been keeping you down.

Finger art of couple. Couple holding broken heart.

Starting Over Sucks

When you begin dating someone it starts all over again. The little quirks you have become “cute” to another person. They laugh about them and they learn how to live around them. However, its not very easy to just open up and lay those weird things you do out in front of a stranger. Especially one you want to like you. It is intimidating to tell someone that they will have to place every volume on an odd number. It is embarrassing that if they don’t chew with their mouth closed your head might explode. Sometimes its one of the main reasons breaking up sucks. It is exhausting starting all over with someone new.

The First Cut Isn’t The Deepest

It is petrifying to think that you will never find someone that you love as much as your now ex. Every time you break up with a boyfriend it always feels like the end of the world. Chances are the next one always proves to be a better choice for you. They say that the first cut is the deepest. I don’t necessarily think that is true. After a relationship comes to its final demise, you are always a little wiser than you were before it.The more knowledgeable you are about what you want in a relationship the more adequately you are next time. I believe that every time your heart breaks it hurts worse than the last. But you will live, and you can pick yourself up and move on for the next opportunity to present itself.

You Can’t Get In The Way Of Their Happiness

When you love a person, the thought of them being with someone is like an elephant is on your chest. The thoughts going through your head can be vivid and painful. The mind can do amazing things. This to me is one of the scariest realizations of breaking up with someone. If you are doing it, they are too. You can’t hold on to a person just because you are scared of someone else having them. You have to let them go. Trust that what is meant to be will be. If you’re breaking up there is a reason that it’s not working meaning you’re probably just not meant to be. Sometimes things really have to fall apart so other things in your life can come together.

You Aren’t Alone

I know I sound like a walking cliché, but these are all so true. Reading this is probably not going to make anyone leave their significant other. I know it is hard because I am in the boat myself. I really think I am writing this to convince myself to walk away. If one person can take away from this the fact that they aren’t alone in the way they are feeling then I feel like I have done my job. So love, love so deeply that it hurts, but when you’re in too deep and you feel like you’re drowning its important to know when you have to come up for air and release yourself from the stress that has been keeping you down.


If you’re interested in more articles like this one check out this one!


  1. Shannon C. says:

    Oh, yes, if someone feels that they are drowning in a relationship, and they have lost their sense of self, that person should DEFINITELY leave that relationship. A relationship, like that, is NOT good for a person’s health and well-being. Being able to take yourself, out of a toxic relationship, will prove to you, and others around you, that you are a strong enough person to stand up for yourself! It will also show that you will not accept anything but the best for yourself!

  2. Beth Davidson says:

    I’m married and planning to stay that way, but I am also the first to say get out of a bad relationship. It seems so painful at first, but it’s so much better in the long run! My husband and I were friends for years before we started dating, and I can only imagine how miserable we’d be if we were still with our exes instead of each other.

  3. Elizabeth Brico says:

    I can relate to this. My husband and I have fought before..but I’m pretty much at the end of my rope and I believe him when he says he is too. We’re planning on living separately soon. And then hopefully to divorce. We have kids together and have been married four years. We had plans to have the wedding ceremony we never had at our five year anniversary. So it definitely hurts and as much as I really do not want to be in this relationship anymore, I also hate thinking of him with someone else..bringing someone else around my kids…having his parents potentially treat someone else with the respect they never showed me. It all hurts my ego to think about, but I have to leave myself the opportunity to meet someone who truly respects and appreciates me. I just really hope he doesn’t skip out on all of his parental responsibilities because being a single mom with no help or support or breaks will be terrible for everyone-kids included. I have a feeling he’s not going to make this reasonable or simple for anyone, which makes it so much worse. Ugh. I wish people in general were better.

  4. Megan Miller says:

    Before you get into another relationship you really have to figure out why it wasn’t working for you and any issues you have. It’s so easy to blame our partners when a lot of it could be ourselves and deep rooted issues. I’m someone that I have broken up with my now husband a few times because I had to reflect on myself. Now we are married and know who we truly are, at 24 I might add, that’s something unheard of now but typical in the “olden days.”

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